What Next...Travel
Gay Man's Guide to TSA Checkpoints
• Start by maneuvering your way into the line with the hunkiest TSA agent.
• Moaning and grunting during pat down may be hard to control, but please refrain from addressing airport security as "Daddy."
• Various piercings and metal body jewelry may trigger sensors and initiate the pat down process. We recommend an 0 gauge frenulum ring.
• While tight clothing may be visually appealing when cruising in a crowd, it lessens the need for hand-to-body security checks. Try no underwear and loose linen slacks for a tactile surprise!
• C-rings are both an overkill and a disappointment to any man who realizes that bulge is being assisted.
• If, during pat down, cardio-vascular congestion should ensue, a modest shrug and a lightly whispered, "A thousand pardons," will suffice.
• If the officer is enjoying the process as much as you are, request a private room to continue the examination.
• If you tend toward quick-rising reactions or pre-sex emissions, reconsider the linen pants.
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